{2:42 minutes to read} In Part 1 of this article, we discussed 3 things that mediators want you to know before you call to make that first appointment. Here are 4 more things to think about when you are considering mediation.
4. You Don’t Need to Get Along to Mediate.
It may take some time and it may not be easy, but mediation works and is usually the best option for people in conflict. A mediator’s job is to help their clients communicate their goals despite the conflict they are experiencing. Since mediators are neutral; they can facilitate a discussion that addresses the conflict while allowing their clients to work toward reaching an agreement. All you need to mediate is a willingness to sit and have an honest conversation with your spouse.
5. Don’t Give Up if You Hit a Wall.
There may be times when it feels like an agreement will never be reached. In my experience, this is a result of each person being in a different place with regard to the end of the marriage. If your spouse is unwilling to yield on something, consider giving him or her more time to get used to the idea. If one or both people are carrying anger, they may make decisions out of spite rather than logic. Be patient if your spouse isn’t ready to be reasonable. Pressure creates resistance, so sometimes backing off is all it takes for a reluctant person to be willing to negotiate. Once you are both on the same page, it is amazing how quickly the agreement falls into place.
6. Ask for Help.
There might be issues that you encounter in mediation that you do not feel equipped to deal with on your own. This could be an emotional challenge, such as a lack of trust, or a financial issue, such as learning about different options for your financial assets. If you raise these concerns, your mediator can give you information that will help you make decisions confidently.
7. Share Your Experience.
When all’s said and done and your agreement is reached, you will conclude this process. Hopefully, it was valuable, and if it was, SHARE! If you are comfortable recommending your mediator’s services, others can have good outcomes, given the circumstances. Your mediator will always maintain confidentiality.
What do you wish you had known before beginning mediation?
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