The decision to seek a divorce or separation is a difficult one in most cases. It is often preceded by months (if not years) of thought. Your mind is torn between many different emotions: confusion, anger, frustration and fear are just a few. Should you stay or leave? Will he or she change? How will it affect me? How will it affect the children? How about a “trial separation”? These and many other thoughts go through your mind as you consider what to do.

One of the most difficult decisions you will make is how and when to tell your spouse. And once you do, he or she may be taken by surprise. Your spouse may not have realized that, despite the many discussions the two of you have had, things had reached the point where you are seriously considering a divorce or separation.

But often the breakup of a marriage is the result of a breakdown in communication. Because of this, neither of you may have really heard what the other was saying. Therefore, it is not uncommon for one spouse to be taken