The True Cost of Custody Litigation

I recently had a client email me requesting help with some parenting issues she was having with her former husband. My client was asking about how she would go about filing a petition in court to revise their custody arrangement.

I suggested that the two of them come in and allow me to help them resolve the problems. Her response was that she and her husband did not talk to one another at all and as a result she did not believe I would be able to help them.

While I realize there was a lot of hurt and anger when their marriage ended, I’m afraid that she has no idea what is in store for them if she files a petition in court.

As was aptly stated by Minneapolis Family Court Judge Bruce Peterson, the adversarial system that is used in the courts often does irreparable harm to the family members and will make it difficult for them to ever have a civil relationship.

In a custody proceeding, the court is likely to first appoint a lawyer to represent the children. Depending on their age, that lawyer will likely meet privately with your children to try to understand how they feel about things.

The court is also likely to order a “home study” that would be conducted by the probation department. That would involve a probation officer visiting each parent in his or her home and then making a report to the court as to what they found. They will examine the living conditions, number of bedrooms, and how well the home is being maintained.

In some cases, courts even order a psychological examination of each parent and the children and is likely to require the parents to pay the cost of these examinations.

After conducting all of these investigations and examining all the reports, the court will decide the appropriate arrangement. And often a court will issue a ruling that changes a joint custody arrangement to sole custody to one parent, believing that if a couple is unable to resolve these issues outside of court they are not fit to co-parent their children. Of course, no one can predict what the court will do or which parent will be awarded custody.

Risky? I’ll say. As both Judge Peterson and I have stated, outsiders such as lawyers and judges should not be making decisions that are going to impact a family in such a personal manner. I can only hope my clients see the harm they will cause their children and allow me to help them through mediation, before they file a petition in court. I know the result will be better for all concerned.

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