The Cost of a Divorce

Ending a marriage is one of the most emotionally difficult things that will happen to someone, often second only to the death of a spouse. And to make matters worse, in New York it is likely to cost a small fortune to obtain even a simple divorce. But does it really have to be that way?

Many couples come to me and say that they have everything worked out and simply want a divorce. The first thing that surprises them is that despite having “everything worked out,” they will need a settlement agreement that the court must approve before they can file for a divorce.

Second, once the settlement agreement is completed, additional documents need to be prepared and filed in order to put the matter in front of a judge. These documents include:

• An Application for Index Number
• A Summons and Complaint
• An Affidavit of the Defendant
• An Affidavit of the Plaintiff (which states almost the same thing as the Complaint that he/she signed to initiate the proceeding)
• A Request for Judicial Intervention
• Findings of Fact
• Conclusions of Law
• Judgment of Divorce

In addition, there are a number of other documents that must be prepared and filed with these papers, especially if the couple has minor children!

While the courts have developed a set of forms that are supposed to allow a couple to prepare their own legal documents, theses forms are quite complicated and the instructions that accompany them are not at all clear. (I often tell my clients that if they enjoyed putting together a swing set for their kids, they will love filling out these forms.) As a result, most of the couples I work with ask me to prepare these documents for them.

Because this process is so complicated, it is very time consuming and therefore expensive. Why? It is because the legislature passes laws that are designed to correct a problem that is only present in a small number of cases. Unfortunately, these laws require additional documents and information in everyone’s paperwork, even those couples who do not have such a problem.

But for all those couples who have worked with a mediator and who have agreed on the terms of their settlement, why can’t they simply sign one document that says they wish to end their marriage and incorporate the settlement agreement they have reached into the Judgment of Divorce? At least then those couples could avoid the additional legal fees that all of this unnecessary paperwork causes.

If it were up to me, that’s the way it would be.

Comments & Replies from Social Media
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Daniel, I agree with you. In Minnesota a group of mediators, therapists, lawyers, judges and clients have been meeting for a year to develop a simplified divorce process outside of the court. Divorce, after all is a family problem, not a legal problem. Most divorces we mediate are with couples who choose not to have legal counsel. Since 1977, my partner and I have mediated more than 4000 conflicts, most of them being divorces. At present, the average cost of the mediated divorce in our practice is approximately $3,000 which includes drafting and filing the pro se documents. As an average, this means that there have been divorces that have been considerably more expensive and less expensive. Since divorce mediation is client centered it centers on the self determination of the clients. So they are the decision makers, we guide them through the process, and they have a lot of control over the costs. I hope to see you at the APFM Conference in Denver October 3rd through 6th so we can all learn more about this from each other!

By Marilyn McKnight (Via LinkedIn)