How to Lose Custody

{2:24 minutes to read} The law with regard to custody is fairly simple to recite. A court will award custody to the parent it feels has the “best interest” of a child in mind. I recently read a case where the application of this test ended up costing a mother custody.

When the couple divorced in July of 2011 the court awarded mom “sole legal custody” of the children of the marriage. It then awarded dad “visitation,” a word I dislike but which is still used by courts in New York. (See What’s In a Word?)

After some time had passed, dad filed a petition in court seeking a “modification” of custody, stating that things had changed since the original award of custody to mom. Exactly what had changed?

According to dad, mom had “undermined the children’s relationship” with him by preventing the children from seeing or speaking with him for over three months.

After hearing the facts, the court found that mom had intentionally interfered with dad’s relationship with the children. Specifically, the court found that mom:

• Refused to allow the children to call or text their father;

• Prevented him from speaking with the children when he called them; and

• Scheduled activities for the children when they were supposed to be with dad.

In its opinion, the court held that the conduct of the mother was so contrary to the children’s “best interest” that she was unfit to continue as custodial parent. It went on to say that the father would be more likely to foster a positive relationship between the children and the mother. It then awarded him custody!

The Moral of the Story

Unless you have a compelling reason for preventing the other parent from having a relationship with the children, it is in your best interest to foster that relationship. If you do not, you not only risk harming the children, you risk losing custody.