Recently, I was close to reaching a mediated settlement agreement with a couple when the wife said she wanted a recommendation for a lawyer. When I asked her what she was seeking from the lawyer she said she wanted to make sure that she knew her “legal rights”.
I gave her the name of someone I considered to be an outstanding divorce lawyer and then we discussed what to expect from her attorney. We talked about how there is rarely a single answer to most legal questions and that most of the time the answer to how much spousal support she should receive, or how the marital property would be divided, is at best an educated guess by the lawyer as to what he or she believes a judge would do given the facts being presented.
We then discussed her goals and interests. We talked about what she wanted for herself and her children; the type of life she wanted and what it would take to have that life. Once she realized what she wanted she found that she really did not need to know her “legal rights”; what she really needed to know was that she and the children would be ok. And she found that answer by defining her goals and interests and making sure the agreement she reached satisfied those interests, which is what we help people do in mediation.
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