“It’s All About Your Children”
Many people believe that wanting a prenuptial agreement means that they are betting against their new marriage. But the real reason to have a prenuptial agreement prepared when getting remarried is to protect your children!
In New York, as soon as you marry, your spouse has a claim to one third of your estate. It is called the Right of Election and it allows your spouse to assert a claim against your estate even if you die with a will.
While you may want your new spouse to have everything if you should predecease him or her so he or she can continue to afford to stay in the house, you may also want to make sure your children receive their share of your estate when that spouse dies.
Even if the two of you prepared wills and agreed to divide everything equally between all of your collective children after the second person dies, there is nothing to stop the surviving spouse from changing his or her will and leaving everything to his or her children, cutting your children out completely.
A Prenuptial agreement protects each of you by allowing you to agree in advance how your estate will be divided. And it is binding on each of you even if you change your will after the first person dies. So, if you are considering getting married and you have children from a prior marriage or relationship, the best choice is to have a prenuptial prepared BEFORE you remarry.
And you know what I’m going to say next. The best way to develop the terms of a prenuptial agreement is through mediation so the two of you can explore your respective goals and interests and come to an agreement that works for both of you. And you can do so in a setting that does not put you in an adversarial position with the new love of your life!
Thinking of getting married again? Be smart and protect the kids with a Prenup.
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If i’m single my whole life, and met my partner 4yrs ago. I’m 50 and he’s 58. We have purchased our house together, and contemplating to get married next year. I have saved my whole life, and owned some properties, whereas my partner had been divorced twice, and lost most of his money and house to his two wives before.
How should I make a pre-nup agreement before we get married, and also how should I do it in order not to hurt his feelings and pride? He’s a very sensitive man, and I have to be be careful about bringing this up. He has 4 children and 3 grandchildren from his previous 2 marriages.
Do I have to go through the lawyer or any form i can get from the internet, and get my own witnesses? Is it valid this way?
Please help. Thank you very much!
Frances,
Thank you for your inquiry. I agree that this is something that has to be handled in a sensitive manner which is one of the reasons why I recommend mediation rather than getting two lawyers involved. One way to find out more is to schedule a consultation appointment with me for you and your intended. There is no charge for the meeting where I will explain the process to both of you and give you an idea of the cost. While you can do this yourself it is really more than finding a form to fill out and doing it incorrectly will jeopardize the result if there should ever be a problem in the future.
Let me know if I can help.
Dan