Post-Divorce Mediation Part II: The Outcomes

{4:00 minutes to read} 

Paul and Naomi

When Paul and Naomi divorced, Paul was working toward a Ph.D. Once completed, he was offered a prestigious position at a university two hours from his home. Paul and Naomi could not agree on how their parenting schedule should change.  (To read more, click here.)

The Outcome:

Paul and Naomi met with a mediator, and were able to reach an agreement about how to modify their parenting agreement. They would continue to alternate weekends, but Paul would have time with the children each Sunday evening, and would get them off to school each Monday before leaving for his week away. They also agreed that Paul could have additional parenting time during school breaks, particularly when Naomi was working.

By honoring the relationship that each parent had with their children, Paul and Naomi were able to work together and change their parenting schedule to accommodate the change. Naomi realized that her children would be negatively impacted by seeing less of their father, so she was willing to work with him to make sure that didn’t happen.

Renee and Bradley

Renee and Bradley had a daughter, Mia, who was an infant when they separated. Now, Mia is 3 and Bradley would like their parenting schedule to change. (To read more, click here.)

The Outcome:

Bradley realized that a sudden, drastic change to his daughter’s schedule would likely be stressful for her, so he agreed to be patient and allow her time to adjust slowly. In mediation, Renee and Bradley agreed to a gradual change in Mia’s schedule. They started with one overnight each week and increased it to the more even schedule that Bradley was looking for.

This allowed both Renee and Mia to adjust to more time apart. The transition went smoothly, and as a result, Mia thrived when she was with each of her parents.

Martin and April

Martin and April divorced after a long-term marriage. As part of their agreement, Martin would pay April maintenance for 5 years. Unfortunately, Martin was injured a year later, and was unable to continue working at his current job. (To read more, click here.)

The Outcome:

Martin and April agreed that the maintenance amount would be reduced, but Martin would still pay April for the full 5 years. Both would need to reduce their expenses, and April would still be able to finish her certification in the same time frame.

This agreement worked for them because it created a similar situation as would have occurred if they were still married — they would have needed to reduce their expenses and both would have needed to make sacrifices.

When there remains a financial obligation between ex-spouses, an unforeseen change in circumstances will affect both of them. Sharing the burden of such changes allows an agreement to continue to work, saving the time and money that would otherwise be spent fighting in court.

In all of these examples, couples who successfully mediated their divorces encountered challenges that impacted their agreements. Working with a mediator allowed them to make changes to their agreements that accounted for their new circumstances.

If you have a similar problem and feel your agreement needs to change, mediation can help.