Sandy Hook and Child Support

{2:24 minutes to read} Sandy Hook has been on my mind lately. I’m sure you remember this tragedy that occurred three years ago when 26 people, including 20 young children, were murdered by a madman. As a grandfather of a kindergartener at the time, it still brings tears to my eyes to think of those poor families who lost their children.

One of the reasons I have been thinking of Sandy Hook is that I recently received an email from a client six months after he signed a settlement agreement. He felt that the amount of child support he had agreed to pay was too much because his young son was with him for half the time.

My first thought, as a mediator, was that we had spent a lot of time working through the numbers to make sure that each parent had a similar amount of disposable income to live on and provide for the needs of their son. By doing, this we tried to make sure that their son would enjoy a similar standard of living regardless of which parent he was with.

My second thought, as a grandfather, was “why are we even talking about this?” Instead of focusing on how much he has to pay to support his son, shouldn’t this father be grateful to have a son to support? I can think of 20 families in Connecticut that would give anything to be in that situation.

As long as you are alive, and your children are alive and well, shouldn’t you focus on your blessings and on giving your children everything you can, rather than bemoaning the fact that you might be paying more than you’d like?

As a mediator, I stay neutral and avoid judgment. But sometimes, just sometimes, I want to look a parent in the eye and remind them to just be grateful for what they have.