The Three Legged Stool of Divorce

I have often thought that there are three components that need to be addressed when a couple is ending their marriage:

1. Legal
2. Financial
3. Emotional

All three need to be managed during a divorce or a couple is not likely to achieve the best possible outcome under the circumstances.

I believe the legal component may be the easiest to manage. The reality is that in most jurisdictions, assets and liabilities are divided equally. The other reality is that there are usually a limited number of assets to divide and only so many ways to do so. In this respect, the role of an attorney is rather limited.

It has been my experience that the financial component is usually much more difficult than the legal one. While there may be a “legal” aspect in determining child and spousal support, the difficulty for most couples is in finding a way to live separately on the same income that they could not live on together!

The third component is perhaps the most difficult since it involves coming to terms with the major change that will incur in your life. While this may be a bit easier for the spouse who initiated the idea of the divorce (yes, there is usually one), it is still difficult to rearrange your relationships and become accustomed to the “new normal” that will be your life.

So, my question is, if the legal part of a divorce is the simplest, why would you hire a lawyer to manage all the aspects of your divorce? Wouldn’t you be better off with:

• a Lawyer to make sure you are addressing all of the legal issues
• a Financial planner to help with the financial aspects
• a Therapist to manage the emotional component

Or, better yet, why not use a professional mediator? A professional mediator has been trained in the legal, financial and emotional aspects of divorce and can help you with all three legs of the “divorce stool” in order to obtain the best possible outcome under the circumstances.